U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
