I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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