that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize