He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
