we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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