Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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