i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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