Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize