it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
