lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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