So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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