i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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