Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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