we have pet lesbian snakes
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
