Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish there were birth control emojis
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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