I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
