Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
