i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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