Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
