when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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