I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As shirtless as possible
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
