So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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