I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
