I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
