it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
