Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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