So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
