You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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