did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
