Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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