Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize