8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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