Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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