he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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