Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
