Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
