is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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