I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
