You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
