Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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