All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
