there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
