At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
