He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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