dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
