I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
