We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
