For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
