I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was confusing and full of hummus
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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