who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck me I smell like cheese
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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