I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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