On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize