Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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