I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
did i just pee glitter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
