ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize