I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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