We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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