Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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