If i come over, it means nothing
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
