I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
